Welcome Back

I'm back! Time to get back on my A game and get some things done. I find that in the process of this I need to let some of my internal monolog out. So here I am and ready to share this tranformation that I am embarking on with you. Oh yes, you get a front row seat to my crazy rants about the paths taken and the forging through the rough to get back on the route I'm trying to take.

Let's get down to business. I am so close to graduating college I can taste it. October can not come soon enough. That being said I'm not sure why I went with Business Finance as my major as the corporate lifestyle holds little to no interest for me. I cannot even imagine the feeling of waking up every morning to dress is business attire and worry about the company balance sheets or the assest/liability number for the calendar year of whatever company I have prostituted myself out to. While yes the paycheck that would accomany this type of position that I would be entitled to would be a vast improvement to what I am working with now. I would be miserable. So here it is, my graduation plans are taking me to beauty school. I have decided that this would serve my creative outlet and well if I can cut my own hair, I can definitely cut someone else's. If nothing else it could be an awesome hobby for me once I settle for my adult desk job :)

Love life is another subject entirely. I will get into that another day. Not quite sure that I am doing with that yet but I know something has got to give. Is this really what being an adult is supposed to feel like? This sucks!

Wft?!

Settling... that sounds like such an ugly term. Nobody wants to settle but sometimes is happens accidently. What I mean is at the time you don't realize you are doing it. Everything is wonderful, there are some things in the back of your mind that bug you but nothing you can't deal with. But then one day all of the warm, fuzzies that took the sting out of the things that were bugging you are gone and then, WHOA! All you can say is wft?! How did this happen?

But what do you do then? How do you go back to the way things were? I don't want to regret this but I don't know how to just be happy with the way things have gotten to be with out letting the best part of myself die. How could I give up myself for something that is less than what I deserve?

I just don't know. So for now I bury it deep down and wait for an answer.

I'm Back!

I feel like I can breathe again! My computer, which I did not realize I am so attached to, is home. Thank you to the Best Buy geek squad for taking such good care of it while it was away. I took it in for a missing key and it came home with a new cd drive, a new mother board and a whole new keyboard. Also thank you to my hubby for letting use his netbook while I was without a laptop. I complained the whole time but am truly grateful. Now on to the good stuff...

My baby has started his summer vacation early out at my grandparents, for lack of a better term, mini-ranch. I am back at work full time and hating every second of it. In a moment of lowered standards I took a job at a call center. I was previously unaware what that was like but now know more than I ever wanted to. With rules like "You may not groom, massage or bite your neighbor". Thanks guys, I really needed that one cleared up. Now I am left with finding other ways to resolve my neighborly disputes since biting is out of the question. There are four other pages of rules that are very similar in nature. I never would have guessed that this stuff needs to be mentioned in an adult working environment, but apparently I do not work in an adult environment.

With that, I am making the all too obvious statement that my job search will continue and getting the hell out of there will be my motivation! (Let's just hope I can fight the urge to bite someone in the mean time, lol)

New Frontiers

So here it is... My baby, whom I had left my career to stay home with and raise is 4 and on his way to school. So what does that mean to me?! I am finding that the older he gets the more he actually needs me, not necessarily for the same things that he needed me for a few years ago but for explanations and new lessons everyday. But that is neither here nor there. I am on the new frontier of heading back to work. ( I am honestly having a harder time with this than he is)

So I applied, interviewed and got hired. So here are the big questions, who will watch my son when I am not there? Will they know that he likes milk with his snacks? Will they know that he can build his marble track all on his own? Will he need me at nap time? Ugh... I never thought that these things would matter to me so much. At which point can I do this without worrying about my baby, who surely notices my absence and direly needs me home. These are all the things that I am worried about during my interview. I get home form this process to find that my son has had the time of his life playing marbles with someone else. I sigh and kick off my heels, we may all actually get through this.

Although I feel like I just went through the first day of school all over again. I love my son and hace relished everyday that I have had with him since he was born and wouldn't give a single day back for anything in the world. But it is time for new things for both him and me. I guess this is the first step to letting him grow up and as much as I hate this... Here we go.

Hmm... Well I see how this is going.

Well it seems that although I have the best of intentions, that is not translating into postings. On an almost daily basis I think of things that I would like to post about so here is about a months worth of things that were floating around in my head (gripes if you will):

I was passing by the UofA campus and saw several people riding to class on bikes. That is a wonderful thing, making use of the man powered transportation that they have. There was even a push recently on enforcing the traffic laws more harshly when it comes to bicycle riding on campus to follow the same rules of the road. (DUH, if you ride in the road you must follow the same laws). Why then were there so many people with their helmets clipped safely on their backpacks, while they were riding? What exactly are they protecting in there? If they do that for aesthetic reasons, do they not realize that wearing them wrong looks worse than had they actually worn it right? hmmm?

On to the food!
After taking a short break from baking I returned with a valiant triumph. I had a friend request that I make a spicy pumpkin based cupcake with a cream cheese frosting. This was a welcomed request as once a year (Halloween time) I cook down at least 3 pumpkins and freeze the result to use throughout the year. I did some research on how I wanted to go about this and found a base recipe. Made the necessary changes before getting started and away I went. With my helpers watching from the table I mixed and added and sifted to my hearts content. The result was a moist cakey version of a Thanksgiving favorite. To top it all off a homemade cream cheese/ cinnamon frosting that pushes the cupcakes from delicious to positively sinful. As my pumpkin puree recipe is based on taste and not from a recipe this will be nearly impossible for anyone else to duplicate but God willing, I'll be making another batch next week!

Until Next Time! <3

So here it is...

This is my little experiment. Before this my only form of written expression comes from the thesis/research papers I write for school, and those are no fun and don't necessarily give me the outlet that I would like. If you are reading this thank you for taking time out of you life to endulge me and feel free to let me know what you think and suggest topics. I have tendency to overthink things and talk myself in circles so we will see how this goes. I am super excited about this and what it can become so here we go...